Hello Kitty...chapter 2

I realize I have written about Kalisha's new fascination with Hello Kitty before, but I thought it might run its course. Silly me; what was I thinking?
She has definitely not given up her Colts love; she has branched out. I suppose it is a 'growth' thing to have more than one obsession. I would never have thought Hello Kitty would be the choice. She didn't even look at HK when she was a little girl. All that really doesn't matter because this is now and Hello Kitty is the 'thing.'

She attended a Halloween party as HK. She asked if she could buy the wig for it. I agreed. Little did I know it was a child's wig. Some times, I don't think too far ahead. Of course, it was a child's wig. Getting it to stay on her head was a trick, but we persevered and here she is.

 

She also decided to hedge her bets for Christmas. She typed a list of items she wanted, printed them off (obviously from the size of the font, she thinks all relatives are nearly blind) and sent a copy to all siblings and her father. I helped her with addresses and put the stamps on. Am I enabling her? Of course, I am; but I think it's only fair this obsession be spread around to other people besides me. Right? Okay, don't answer that.

 

 



Kalisha is on a mission to obtain all things Hello Kitty. Her budget does not allow that, but that fact doesn't keep her from talking about it.
I have given up on the idea Hello Kitty is for children. If that were true, would they make t-shirts in size 2X with Hello Kitty on them? I think not. Kalisha does remind me of that fact occasionally.

Today, in the mail, she received a newspaper clipping from the local newspaper, sent to her by my cousin and good friend, Mary.

According to this, I guess Kalisha is not the only Hello Kitty groupie. I should be happy; there are a lot worse things she could be addicted to, me thinks.

Little Debbie....Round 2

To state Kalisha becomes obsessed with something is an understatement. I realize I have written about this before, but I am revisiting it today. I saw a cartoon on an autism site which said, "I am not addicted. I am obsessed." Yes, I understand.

At least it makes me know she is not alone in this way of thinking; although I have to say I sometimes forget that and have a hard time understanding her obsessions with some weird things (or so they seem to me.) There have been shoes, certain clothing, and PHONES, of course. I understand the phone thing; it is her lifeline, her 'normal' thing.

Her current 'thing she has to have' is Little Debbie Cakes. This is not the first time around for these.

 

If you have read this blog for any time at all or if you have read the book, Not Different Enough,

you already know she is occasionally obsessed about a person or persons. This usually ends badly; for her.

 

 

Several years ago, she was totally obsessed with a city bus driver and rode her bus every day. This woman took advantage of Kalisha's benevolent nature and asked for Little Debbie Cakes every day. I can't begin to tell you how many boxes were purchased and shared or just given to this woman. (If you owned stock in Little Debbie, I'm sure you saw an increase in dividends during this time.)

At one point, Kalisha had 6-7 boxes of the Valentine cakes in her room. When the friendship became a disaster, the cakes were moved to the basement cupboard and eventually disposed of or given away or eaten; I don't remember.

 

Since that time, Kalisha has had a box every now and then, but recently, the LD urge took over again. She started with one box. Okay. She didn't even open it; she just HAD it. Then last week, she went into Kroger to buy 5 bottles of her flavored water. She came out with water and 2 more boxes of Little Debbies.

 However, the kind she really wanted...because she saw them online and on FB (Little Debbie has a FB page....who knew? Obviously, Kalisha.) were only available at the Coldwater WM. She couldn't rest until she found a box of those.

 

I asked her to take a picture of her boxes for this post, so she lined them up on the couch. She keeps them in the garage refrigerator and as you can see in the photo, only opens a box to get one for her lunch when she is packing it for her volunteer job.

 

It isn't like she gobbles them all down in one day or even a week. She may have these 4 boxes until the end of the year; but she HAS them and that's what counts, for her.

 

I should probably be happy she is enamored with a fictional Little Debbie, instead of a real person. As I said earlier, those friendships rarely end well. More about the latest people obsession in the next post.

 

 

 



 

 

 



 

One way or another I'm gonna find ya/ I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha

The title is the lyrics to a song by Blondie. Several other artists have recorded it, also. In the song, I believe the singer's intention is to find a particular person and 'catch' them doing something.

I chose the title for a very different reason. This is Kalisha's thought process when she zeroes in on a person she desperately wants for a friend.
She is like one of those little red lasers and it is pointed at a particular person. It has been a bone of contention at our house many times in the past and it probably will be in the future. No amount of talking, discussing, explaining or threatening can unlock her laser beam mentality once it is set.

I am giving away a copy of the book I wrote about 30 years of living with Kalisha.

If you already have a copy, win one for a friend or acquaintance. If you don't have a copy, leave a comment on this blog site (not on FB) and I will randomly select a winner on Monday, July 21st. I will contact you via e-mail and send your copy in the mail.
The friend obsession and MANY other topics are in the book. I think you will enjoy it.


Several months ago, Kalisha found a young woman on the bus and decided she would be her next 'friend conquest.' She has known this person for a long time, but for some unknown reason, has just recently determined to make her into a friend.
She begins by contacting her and messaging her on FaceBook. She gets her cell phone number and calls (only at designated times; she understands boundaries). She invites her to go places and although disappointed when it doesn't happen, she won't give up.
We discuss the fact Kalisha wants this person to be her friend a WHOLE LOT MORE than she wants to be Kalisha's friend.

Kalisha does understand that. She will even repeat it, but she can't quite convince herself of it.

Don't feel sorry for Kalisha; she has a lot of friends. However, there is always that ONE that she must conquer. Does she sound like a stalker? A little bit. She invited this new person to a baseball game; even bought the tickets and I was going to be the transportation both ways. The day before the game, the friend cancelled for a flimsy reason. I was furious with the friend, but I could have predicted that happening.
Kalisha was sad for a while and extremely disappointed, but the minute the friend suggested meeting at a concert, all was forgotten and forgiven.

Kalisha has come a long way, believe it or not. When the FRIEND couldn't go to the baseball game, she called another friend and they had a good time together. In the past, she might have refused to go with anyone else or been a 'sad sack' all during the ballgame.

 There have been times in the past when she was obsessed with a CAPITAL "O" and the obsession ruled her every waking moment. She wouldn't attend any other events or volunteer or anything else. Her entire world revolved around the selected person. She has matured 98% from those days. She goes to her obligations and talks with other friends, but this 'friend' is always in the back of her mind.

 

I will let it play out as long as she isn't in danger and pray it will be a legitimate friendship. Sometimes, once the friendship is solidified, the obsession is gone.

 

*Remember to leave a comment so you will be in the drawing for a free book.

Until Blogger can fix the 'comment' box on this post, please leave a comment on my facebook page and you will be eligible for the free book. GRRRRRR

https://www.facebook.com/gloria.doty.98

Play It Again, Sam

I realize that anyone who reads this blog probably becomes weary of reading the same posts about Kalisha's obsession over something. However, this blog is about a person with autism, and obsession is a way of life that is often consuming. I guess I should be happy that she at least changes obsessions once in a while.

Have you ever heard a 3-year-old who wanted something and wasn't getting it fast enough? Something like this: "Mommy, is it time to go?" "Huh, huh?" Mommy, did you say we were leaving soon?" "Can we leave right now?" "Why not?" "I'm ready now, Mommy." "I don't want to wait until Daddy gets home." "Can we leave now?" "Please, please?" "Why can't we leave now?" " Look. I'm ready." "Let's go no-o-ow." "Why can't we leave now?"

You get the idea.

Kalisha doesn't talk like that, but she cannot put something out of her mind once she is set on it. Last week, a lady became ill during our church service. Kalisha was one of the first ones out of her seat and wanted to help in some way. She was immediately praying for Delores (not her real name), and spent the day very concerned about her. She emailed someone from church to check on her and find out the hospital room number. Once she had it, she wanted to visit her in the hospital (obviously, she was not in critical condition). I did not have the time on Tuesday to take her so she asked her 'community helper' to take her there. The lady had been released and sent home. I had told Kalisha to call first to make certain she was still there. She didn't. She did stop and buy her a card. She wrote all kinds of nice things in the card and then needed a stamp. Later she saw that Delores was on FB so she started sending her messages there. She called her at home once.

All this time, I have been talking to her about 'smothering' Delores and how she was going to relapse due to stress if Kalisha didn't leave her alone. She always tells on herself. I would never know how many times she texted her or messaged her on FB, but she always tells me. I told her that if she didn't stop, her consequence would be to lose her phone...a fate worse than death to her almost.

Kalisha says, "I'm not obsessed with her or anything."   

Really???? You could have fooled me. At one point, I told her she was obsessed with being obsessed. That put a really puzzled look on her face.

I ended up taking her phone on Saturday. She was not happy with me. She doesn't yell or anything, she just gets sullen. I drove out to a friend's house to see their new baby. She didn't want to get out of the car. Okay, sit there. On the way home, we stopped to see another friend who had been in an accident. Although Kalisha was very concerned about him, she wouldn't go in to see him either. I think she believes that she is punishing me somehow (for taking the phone) by not participating in anything. It really didn't bother me. If she wanted to be bored and sit in the car, it was okay with me.

When we got home, she didn't want to eat either. Okay. She kept asking me if we could stay for Bible Class on Sunday morning. It is between services and since we always attend the early service and Delores goes to late service, it was her way of possibly being able to see Delores.

On Sunday morning, after a good night's sleep, Kalisha awoke with a whole new attitude. She was ready for the Colts football game on Sunday evening, but was still thinking about seeing Delores. As it happened, she did see her and had a chance to ask her how often she could call her. Now this sweet lady said that she didn't mind Kalisha calling and she could message her on FB any time she wanted.
  
My first thought was: Damn!! I wish I had been able to speak to her first, so I could have had her set some boundaries. I told Kalisha that, although it was very nice of Delores to say that, she still couldn't call her more than once a week. On Monday, her Behavioral Consultant discussed the whole scenario with her.

Can you see how time and thought consuming it becomes when she gets 'stuck' on someone or something?

The phone consequence works very well and definitely gets her attention. Sometimes, she can self-talk herself out of the obsession, but many times she can't. The strange thing is this: Now that she has seen Delores, talked to her, and has permission to call her once a week, she probably won't.

I don't have the answers to things like this. We just keep on, keeping on.