Another Birthday...Oh My

Today is Kalisha's 32nd birthday. Yikes. I find that hard to believe but the numbers don't lie, so I guess it is true. She approaches birthdays in her own unique way. She invariably wants a party and thinks of various ways to make that happen.
This year, I first knew she was planning one when I saw the invitation on Facebook.

"Ka li shaaaaaa, what does this invitation mean? When and where are you having this party?"
As she comes down the stairs, "On my birthday and we can have it here."
Me, sighing..."Geez, Kalisha, do you think we might have talked about this first?"
"I'll take care of it, Mom. I will make all the plans and buy the stuff, okay? It's my job."
Me: "Okay. This is your baby. I am not going to do anything. I might vacuum but that's it. If you already made plans, go for it." (What was I saying????)
She changed the date 3 times because the one person she REALLY wanted to come was not available several of the first choices. We did talk about the problems with that and trying to please every one. I suggested she choose a date and stick to it, no matter who could or couldn't attend. Okay, she agreed.

She did really well. She bought the ice cream, soda, and some candy for the treat bags. Speaking of treat bags, I did talk her out of the huge brown paper lunch bags. She would have to buy a bushel basket of candy to fill them. She is using regular party treat bags. She is going to order pizza delivered for the food and she bought a cake mix and frosting, that SHE is going to make.

THEN...(did you think she was done with her plans? au contraire.) she sent me an email. In case you don't know, we live in the same house. She wanted a 'package deal' the local Minor League Baseball team was offering for Valentine's day. It consisted of having the mascot arrive at our house, delivering balloons, card, cake and 2 tickets to the first game of the season. I told her I would split the cost of that with her for her birthday gift, but it wouldn't be on her birthday because it was a Valentine's promotion. She told me she would call and ask them to deliver it on her party day and make it a birthday promotion.
Me: "Kalisha, they are going to be very busy for Valentine's Day. I don't think they are going to change days and celebrations for you."
Kalisha, about 30 minutes later: "Hey, Mom, I called and they said they would come on Monday instead and make it a birthday thing."
I'm pretty sure she missed her calling. I've said it before; she should be a negotiator of some kind.

So, let's recap. She has 5 friends coming. They will have pizza and pop. They are going to play UNO or Sorry, (her choices) 'Johnny' of the baseball team is showing up in my living room and bringing all kinds of stuff with him, they are going to eat cake and ice cream.

Perhaps I will go to the local tavern and have a drink while this is happening; that way I won't be tempted to jump in and "fix" something.

Kalisha's Party

Kalisha started to plan her 30th birthday party in November of 2013. She knew exactly what she wanted: Blue, the Indianapolis Colts' mascot and Johnny, the local minor league baseball team's mascot. She wanted to invite everyone she knew and had ever known......believe me, that is a whole lot of people.
We reserved the community room at our church for this event. She chose Feb. 9th because Feb. 2nd was the Super Bowl. Her actual birthday was Feb. 6th. She made all the arrangements herself. She called the Colts representative about Blue and the Tincaps about Johnny. Neither one could tell her anything that far in advance, so she called back every few weeks to check. I think the women answering the phone soon knew her name.
In January, we took a day and went shopping for cakes and decorations

and ordered the ice cream she wanted. (individual cups so no one would have to dip it out)
We discussed gifts and how difficult it would be for people to shop for her, since she is very particular about colors, sizes and the 'feel' of things. She made the decision to tell people to not bring anything for her but to choose one of 2 charities; A Hope Center, which provides for pregnant women and girls and the babies, or Animal Care and Control, our local animal shelter.
We decorated 2 separate boxes for these charities, she invited people on FaceBook, in our church bulletin and sent some invitations to the folks who wouldn't see either of the other notices.
The day came and the party was all she expected and MORE. Her first teacher from the preschool, her 4th grade teacher, relatives, friends, and professionals she has been associated with.This was only a fraction of the 100 + people.

 

 

 

 

Dancing with Johnny and sharing him with everyone present was fun

 

 

The cakes turned out like she envisioned them; one baseball, one Indianapolis Colts. The Tincaps mascot came for 30 minutes, but Blue could not come. They did send her an entire box of wonderful Colts gifts. I think they felt like they knew her after talking to her so many times and felt bad he couldn't attend. (It saved her a lot of money)

 

The donations people brought were mind-boggling. So very generous. Both boxes were overflowing. The beautiful things filled the car of the person who delivered them.

 

 

The many items for the animals were appreciated, too.

Kalisha did receive a few gift cards and some cash for herself so it wasn't like she got nothing for herself.

 

It was a perfect day and we were both tired when we got home. I think she was very pleased with the entire outcome.



Kalisha's Birthday Party

Kalisha had a birthday last week. The actual day was a great success. She started her day by volunteering at the food bank, where the nice ladies gave her a dozen cupcakes. I was surprised when she got up willingly and went without a complaint. I thought she would surely use her birthday as a reason not to go.

Then we went to look for a new Indianapolis Colts stocking hat. One of the ones with the 'braids' hanging off the ear flaps. We found two: one had a 'mane' on the top. I let her pick and thankfully, she chose the other one.

Our next stop was a local Mexican restaurant where we had the best server in the world and where the entire wait staff came out to sing to her. That evening, I made her favorite dinner. All in all, a great day.

Yesterday, however, was a totally different story. It started with her not wanting to get up. She was scheduled to be a greeter at church and since that is a 'commitment' it qualified for losing all electronics and phone if she didn't go. After a text to her BC, who agreed with me, she got ready and got in the car. As we are going, she tells me, "My commitment is only to greet. When I am done, I will go sit in the car. I can hear pastor's sermon and the music from the parking lot." RIGHT!

The situation digressed from there. She told everyone who would listen all about her troubles. Part of me doesn't care that she tells everyone and part of me, (if I'm honest) gets really ticked off when she does that; especially to people who may not understand the situation very well.

She was supposed to have a 'family' birthday party in the afternoon. I had baked a cake and we had ice cream, etc. She had all of her Colts plates, forks, napkins, etc from another year to put on the table.

Because she was being bullheaded, she didn't help with one single thing. She didn't put things on the table, get the cake out, put candles on it, nothing.

Then she invited her friend, who I was sure was only invited because Kalisha wanted a McDonald's gift card and this friend had said she would get her one. She was chronologically celebrating her 29th birthday, but emotionally, it was still all about the gifts and she was being 10 or 12. When she thought her friend wasn't going to come through with the gift card, she called her dad and told him she wanted a McD's gift card. By this time, I was thinking she might not live to see another birthday. (Just kidding, ok?)

Well, all things come to an end and so did her obstinance. We had a good laugh at her attempts to blow out the candles. I'm not sure if that qualifies as a small motor skill or not, but it took at least 25 trys to blow out 18 candles. Obviously, blowing just air is not something she does well. She can't whistle either.

It was, at best, an emotionally draining day for me, and probably for her, too. I really dislike it when we are at odds with each other. She never yells (unlike me); maybe it would be better if she did. She just becomes totally obstinate and unreachable. No matter what you say, she has these 'blinders' on and only thinks in the moment.

We do not go to bed angry with each other. We usually talk about the situation and both ask for forgiveness and go on. That's what it's all about, isn't it? Just keepin' on, keepin' on.