Please Tell Me You Didn't....

The events I am going to write about happened a week ago, but it has taken me that long to acclimate myself to what I already know --- the words, "What the hell...?" are going to be a part of my vocabulary until I die. (Insert a sigh of resignation here)

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to attend a ACFW luncheon in Indianapolis. My friend, Lynne, invited me and it was a great day. The speaker was informative and enjoyable, the food was good.
Kalisha was busy at home and my grandson was at a friend's house. All was well.
We were about halfway home when I received a text from Kalisha. 'Can we have Little Ceasar's pizza for supper? Text me back.'

My text to her was: 'Probably. We'll talk about it when I get there.'

Thirty minutes later, she calls me and before I can even say anything, I hear this: "I wanted Jacob's pizza but he wouldn't give me any. I begged and wouldn't leave him alone so he took my phone. I got mad and called Dad. He said that was stealing and told me to call 911. So I did and the police came."

 

Now is when you hear me say, "WHAT THE HELL?"

 

Those words applied to several things: The fact she called the police, the fact that her father told her to, and the fact that I am in no position to do anything about it at this point. I am in a car on I-69.

 

 

Deep breath...I knew exactly what happened and could visualize the entire scenario which didn't make the picture any prettier.

 

Kalsha gets hung up on food, especially if someone else has some that she loves; like pizza. Jacob had come home and was eating some of HIS leftover pizza from the night before and that was more than she could stand. I should say that he always shares a piece when he has a whole pizza, but this was only a few pieces. I didn't blame him for not sharing.

The next thing is that when she gets in that 'Kalisha mode' she can't always pull herself out and it escalates. I'm sure when he couldn't stand her hassling him about his pizza any longer, he took her phone. (That is her consequence when I am dealing with her, so he thought it would work for him, too)

That's when she called her dad. He probably could have talked her off the ledge if he had tried, but of course, he didn't. His solution was, "Call the police."

AND, of course, she did. Now, we have 3 people in this story. ONE of them is supposedly an adult. I'm going to stop right there, because my blood pressure is beginning to rise as I write this. Let's just say I was NOT a happy camper and 98% of my anger was going to be directed at the OLDEST one.

 

So, as I am traveling north, I asked, "Did they show up?"

"Yes, but I told them it was all a misunderstanding and everything was okay now and they left after they wrote down some information."

 

"Kalisha, go to your room and stay there until I get home. Understand?"

"Yes."

She was in her room when I came home. We discussed the entire scenario. Of course, by this time, she was rational again and even told me, "That was like crying wolf and if I ever really need the police, they might remember this time." I assured her they would respond the next time, but she did have the crying wolf idea right.

 

She wanted to know if I was going to call her dad and yell at him. I exercised a huge amount of self-control...I didn't call. (Are you proud of me?) I didn't think it would do any good. There is a FB cartoon that states, 'You can't fix stupid.'

I will just leave that there.

 

Do We have To Change It?

Kalisha likes her room just as it is; dust bunnies and all. She knows where everything is and wants to keep it that way, even if 'that way' is a bit of a mess.
I recently made a list of all the tasks I wanted to do in each room of the house, including the basement, garage and deck. (I work much better with a list in hand, even if I change some things on the list.)
Kalisha's room was chosen to be the first in this undertaking; partly because it just required cleaning, rearranging and some 'throwing out' but no painting or redecorating.
She has had a FatHead ... this is a peelable life-sized image of someone....of Colts player #29, Joseph Addai, on her wall for several years. He is no longer a Colt and I'm not even sure he still plays in the NFL.
Although she really, really liked him, she did allow me to peel him off the wall, along with his number and helmet. THEN, I suggested we throw him away, instead of trying to 'save' him. I was pretty certain I was going to get some pushback, but she acquiesced, after hesitating for a bit.
Then I asked her to sort through all (and I mean a lot) her CDs and decide which were still good and which were scratched. That required entirely too much effort on her part, so we left them in the large bin under her bed. Another day, perhaps.
Drawers and DVDs were sort of sorted. That means I threw out all the socks with holes in them while she watched. I discovered 4 new pair, never worn; at the back of her drawer. Kalisha suffers from "male syndrome" (sorry, guys) which is this: If it is not visible in the immediate front of a drawer, it must not be there. Therefore she wears the same holey socks instead of looking for the new pairs in the back of the drawer. As you can see, socks are not high on her priority list.
THEN, we tackled the closet. Oh my. That took a bit because her closet isn't very big and she doesn't do the best job of hanging things on hangers. So first I had to empty the closet, then start putting things back.
Moving right along......we threw lots of scraps of paper away; old library receipts, notes, bank slips, grocery receipts. God forbid she ever throw any of it away when she gets home. No, it accumulates.
She also allowed me to put the last of her American Girl dolls in their boxes and store them in the back of the closet.
She wouldn't move or remove any Build-a-Bear animals.

 We did get some things on the shelf.

 And we added the clips to keep current papers visible.

 I covered up the Budweiser word on the top of her Colts sign..with electrical tape.

All in all, it looks good and the closet, drawers and desk are cleaned out. YES.

I was impressed with her agreeing to almost everything; she was more of the 'sidewalk superintendent' than the actual laborer, but I was happy she didn't argue about the boatload of stuff I threw away. That is particularly hard for Kalisha.

Kalisha's Birthday Party

Kalisha had a birthday last week. The actual day was a great success. She started her day by volunteering at the food bank, where the nice ladies gave her a dozen cupcakes. I was surprised when she got up willingly and went without a complaint. I thought she would surely use her birthday as a reason not to go.

Then we went to look for a new Indianapolis Colts stocking hat. One of the ones with the 'braids' hanging off the ear flaps. We found two: one had a 'mane' on the top. I let her pick and thankfully, she chose the other one.

Our next stop was a local Mexican restaurant where we had the best server in the world and where the entire wait staff came out to sing to her. That evening, I made her favorite dinner. All in all, a great day.

Yesterday, however, was a totally different story. It started with her not wanting to get up. She was scheduled to be a greeter at church and since that is a 'commitment' it qualified for losing all electronics and phone if she didn't go. After a text to her BC, who agreed with me, she got ready and got in the car. As we are going, she tells me, "My commitment is only to greet. When I am done, I will go sit in the car. I can hear pastor's sermon and the music from the parking lot." RIGHT!

The situation digressed from there. She told everyone who would listen all about her troubles. Part of me doesn't care that she tells everyone and part of me, (if I'm honest) gets really ticked off when she does that; especially to people who may not understand the situation very well.

She was supposed to have a 'family' birthday party in the afternoon. I had baked a cake and we had ice cream, etc. She had all of her Colts plates, forks, napkins, etc from another year to put on the table.

Because she was being bullheaded, she didn't help with one single thing. She didn't put things on the table, get the cake out, put candles on it, nothing.

Then she invited her friend, who I was sure was only invited because Kalisha wanted a McDonald's gift card and this friend had said she would get her one. She was chronologically celebrating her 29th birthday, but emotionally, it was still all about the gifts and she was being 10 or 12. When she thought her friend wasn't going to come through with the gift card, she called her dad and told him she wanted a McD's gift card. By this time, I was thinking she might not live to see another birthday. (Just kidding, ok?)

Well, all things come to an end and so did her obstinance. We had a good laugh at her attempts to blow out the candles. I'm not sure if that qualifies as a small motor skill or not, but it took at least 25 trys to blow out 18 candles. Obviously, blowing just air is not something she does well. She can't whistle either.

It was, at best, an emotionally draining day for me, and probably for her, too. I really dislike it when we are at odds with each other. She never yells (unlike me); maybe it would be better if she did. She just becomes totally obstinate and unreachable. No matter what you say, she has these 'blinders' on and only thinks in the moment.

We do not go to bed angry with each other. We usually talk about the situation and both ask for forgiveness and go on. That's what it's all about, isn't it? Just keepin' on, keepin' on.