Monday, February 11, 2013

Kalisha's Birthday Party

Kalisha had a birthday last week. The actual day was a great success. She started her day by volunteering at the food bank, where the nice ladies gave her a dozen cupcakes. I was surprised when she got up willingly and went without a complaint. I thought she would surely use her birthday as a reason not to go.

Then we went to look for a new Indianapolis Colts stocking hat. One of the ones with the 'braids' hanging off the ear flaps. We found two: one had a 'mane' on the top. I let her pick and thankfully, she chose the other one.

Our next stop was a local Mexican restaurant where we had the best server in the world and where the entire wait staff came out to sing to her. That evening, I made her favorite dinner. All in all, a great day.

Yesterday, however, was a totally different story. It started with her not wanting to get up. She was scheduled to be a greeter at church and since that is a 'commitment' it qualified for losing all electronics and phone if she didn't go. After a text to her BC, who agreed with me, she got ready and got in the car. As we are going, she tells me, "My commitment is only to greet. When I am done, I will go sit in the car. I can hear pastor's sermon and the music from the parking lot." RIGHT!

The situation digressed from there. She told everyone who would listen all about her troubles. Part of me doesn't care that she tells everyone and part of me, (if I'm honest) gets really ticked off when she does that; especially to people who may not understand the situation very well.

She was supposed to have a 'family' birthday party in the afternoon. I had baked a cake and we had ice cream, etc. She had all of her Colts plates, forks, napkins, etc from another year to put on the table.

Because she was being bullheaded, she didn't help with one single thing. She didn't put things on the table, get the cake out, put candles on it, nothing.

Then she invited her friend, who I was sure was only invited because Kalisha wanted a McDonald's gift card and this friend had said she would get her one. She was chronologically celebrating her 29th birthday, but emotionally, it was still all about the gifts and she was being 10 or 12. When she thought her friend wasn't going to come through with the gift card, she called her dad and told him she wanted a McD's gift card. By this time, I was thinking she might not live to see another birthday. (Just kidding, ok?)

Photo of Kalish blowing out her candles on Getting It right - occasionally blog
Well, all things come to an end and so did her obstinance. We had a good laugh at her attempts to blow out the candles. I'm not sure if that qualifies as a small motor skill or not, but it took at least 25 trys to blow out 18 candles. Obviously, blowing just air is not something she does well. She can't whistle either.

It was, at best, an emotionally draining day for me, and probably for her, too. I really dislike it when we are at odds with each other. She never yells (unlike me); maybe it would be better if she did. She just becomes totally obstinate and unreachable. No matter what you say, she has these 'blinders' on and only thinks in the moment.

We do not go to bed angry with each other. We usually talk about the situation and both ask for forgiveness and go on. That's what it's all about, isn't it? Just keepin' on, keepin' on.

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