Cookies? What Cookies?

Apple I-phone 6s Plus

As you probably all know, Kalisha is a phone junkie. She loves her phones and in case you think she doesn't make good use of her phone...think again.
She rarely uses her laptop; all things are done on her phone. It is her constant companion. She can find anything, watch movies and TV programs on it. She buys and sells things on e-bay on it and she uses social media, especially FaceBook.
Her list of 'apps' is impressive and she has about a million pictures stored.
Now, while that is all good, the bad part is she always wants the latest and greatest new one. They are quite expensive so she has been to the Verizon store to inquire about trading her present phone in and how much they would give her for it. She is quite a 'haggler' or as I suspect, she just talks them to death and they give her what she wants so she will go home. LOL
This time, she has stipulations before she can buy a new phone. Her Behavior Consultant and I (and Kalisha) made an agreement as to when she can have a new one. First, her present one has to be paid for. She pays a certain amount each month toward the balance through Verizon. Her present balance is $249.14.
Sooo, she has to accumulate that much money before she can finance the one she wants: the Apple I-phone 6s Plus.
If you see her, don't waste your breath trying to talk her out of it. She will not be deterred. Several people have told her they like their Samsung phones (what she currently has) better that Apple (which she had before the Samsung). Are you following along here???? It doesn't matter to her what they like; she wants this one and she is going to raise that money if it kills her (and me, possibly)
She has set the middle of August as her deadline because I am going to be gone for a week and she wants her phone before I leave.
So far, she has sold all of her Hello Kitty stuff which netted her around $35.00. She is going to add her paychecks from Parkview Field to the jar. She needs more. So today, she put 2 pair of shoes (really cute and barely worn) on e-bay. Then she put her bicycle helmet on e-bay. She no longer has a bike so why keep a helmet? I was good with all of this as long as she didn't start selling the cats and dog.
HOWEVER, yesterday she comes to me with a list. "I have 8 people already who want to buy a dozen cookies."
Me: "Cookies? Who is selling cookies?"
K: "I am. I'm charging $5 a dozen."
Me: "Really? There are people who want to buy your cookies for $5 a dozen?"
K: "Yes. And I will have more money for my phone."
Me: "Uhhh, how are you going to get the cookies to them?"
K: "I don't know. I haven't figured that out yet."
Me: "Are they all the same kind?"
K: "No. They want all different kinds."
Me: "You realize you will have to buy the ingredients to make them and that comes out of your $5, right?"
K: "Well, I guess so. Or I could use your flour and stuff."
Me: "No. That won't work. Also, where exactly did you advertise these cookies?"
K: " I posted it on FB. I said I was selling cookies for $5 a dozen and I have 8 customers already."
Me: "Do you know the board of health is going to hunt you down. You cannot sell food from an unapproved kitchen."
K: "Well, I just thought I would start my own business and make some money."

You know, some days this 'special needs' girl is just too smart for her own good.
*Never fear, she will have that $249.14 by the end of August, come hell or high water. Determination is her middle name. Of course, there might not be any furniture left in our house....

Know Thyself

How well do you know yourself; honestly. Do you know your triggers, your faults, your sensibilities, your negative traits, your positive traits?
If you were instructed to write about yourself, very honestly, and be assured NO ONE would ever read what you wrote, are you self-aware enough to be brutally honest?
Most of us like to think we know everything about ourselves, but in reality, we probably don't or at the very least, are reluctant to admit it.

Kalisha is very astute in this area. She knows herself quite well; the good and the bad and the ugly.

She knows her biggest downfall in the 'sweet things' area is cookies and Little Debbie treats. She struggles with being able to resist the temptation to avoid them. But, to her credit, she doesn't live in denial; she knows it.

 

All of this is leading up to a conversation we had a few days ago. It was after watching a Hallmark movie.

She said, "Marriage is supposed to be forever, right?"

I replied, "Yes, it is. That is how God intended it. Why?"

 

 

"Well, Daniel keeps asking me to marry him, even though it is years away."

 

After some thought, she said, "Mom, you know how I get tired of things after a while, right? I mean, after the excitement of showers, and getting ready for the wedding and the wedding day and all of that, I think I might get tired of being married."

 

Ahhhh, do we know ourselves that well?

 

 

I Chose to Attend

A very wise person told me one time, "You don't have to attend every power struggle you are invited to."
Wow. I thought that was brilliant. Even though I'm sure I already knew that somewhere in my head, it was very liberating to actually hear it spoken. And believe me, I have attended my share of power struggles. You win some and lose some, but it is always very hard work.
Last Saturday, I was invited to one and although I tried not to attend, eventually I did walk through that door.
The party started when my granddaughter and her girlfriend purchased 2 boxes of the ready-to-bake Disney cookies. One box with a 'Cars' imprint in the middle and the other had a Minnie Mouse imprint. They burned at least one, maybe two pans of cookies. I was asleep when they were baking them, but the burned smell manages to permeate the entire house. I also saw the cremated remains in the wastebasket when I dumped the coffee grounds in the trash in the morning.
(Note: If you ever read that my house has burned to the ground with me in it, you will know that I ignored the smell of smoke. My granddaughter burns enough stuff that I don't even get out of bed to check anymore.)
When Kalisha got up in the morning and saw those Disney boxes and cookies, she was immediately going to the store to purchase some of the exact same boxes of cookies. *Here is where I should have ignored the invitation, but of course, I didn't. I told her she could eat one of the cookies the girls had left on the table, but she didn't need to buy more.
That wasn't good enough. She wanted those boxes of cookies to bake. I tried reasoning: too expensive, too many calories, I wasn't going to the store, etc. I believe it was at this point she said she was going to eat the burned ones that were in the trash.
Now I wasn't just attending the party, I had my ball gown and slippers on and we were going to dance for a while.
I believe I mentioned the fact that they were covered in coffee grounds and God only knew what else. She stated she didn't care and was going to eat them. I also quoted a few bible verses about envy. That certainly didn't make any difference.

Kalisha doesn't get this far off track very often anymore, but when she does, it usually has something to do with food of some kind. When her friend calls and says she just bought a Peppermint Shake, Kalisha wants one too, usually immediately. Or if one of the grandkids tell her they just had a Big Mac from McDonalds, she almost can't stand it.

It isn't all kinds of food; if she knows you went to Applebee's (and she likes Applebee's) she might say she would like to go sometime, but it doesn't become a consuming desire. It seems to be just her very favorite foods that affect her like this and send her into a tailspin. I should mention that she never screams or yells or  has a tantrum. She just keeps repeating what she is going to do and nothing I say will budge her or change her mind.

After telling me she was going to dig them out of the trash, I took her phone and sent her to her room. It is the equivalent of the scene in the movies where someone slaps the hysterical person. She stayed in her room for a few hours, had a nap and came down saying she was sorry. She still wanted to buy the cookies sometime, but she wasn't "locked in" like she had been.

In retrospect, I should have refused the invitation by telling her to dust the coffee grounds off the burned cookies and to go right ahead and eat them. (I already knew there was nothing really gross on top of them.) 

Ah, yes, the value of hindsight; it's a wonderful thing.