Thursday, July 28, 2016

Cookies? What Cookies?

Apple I-phone 6s Plus

As you probably all know, Kalisha is a phone junkie. She loves her phones and in case you think she doesn't make good use of her phone...think again.
She rarely uses her laptop; all things are done on her phone. It is her constant companion. She can find anything, watch movies and TV programs on it. She buys and sells things on e-bay on it and she uses social media, especially FaceBook.
Her list of 'apps' is impressive and she has about a million pictures stored.
Now, while that is all good, the bad part is she always wants the latest and greatest new one. They are quite expensive so she has been to the Verizon store to inquire about trading her present phone in and how much they would give her for it. She is quite a 'haggler' or as I suspect, she just talks them to death and they give her what she wants so she will go home. LOL
This time, she has stipulations before she can buy a new phone. Her Behavior Consultant and I (and Kalisha) made an agreement as to when she can have a new one. First, her present one has to be paid for. She pays a certain amount each month toward the balance through Verizon. Her present balance is $249.14.
Sooo, she has to accumulate that much money before she can finance the one she wants: the Apple I-phone 6s Plus.
If you see her, don't waste your breath trying to talk her out of it. She will not be deterred. Several people have told her they like their Samsung phones (what she currently has) better that Apple (which she had before the Samsung). Are you following along here???? It doesn't matter to her what they like; she wants this one and she is going to raise that money if it kills her (and me, possibly)
She has set the middle of August as her deadline because I am going to be gone for a week and she wants her phone before I leave.
So far, she has sold all of her Hello Kitty stuff which netted her around $35.00. She is going to add her paychecks from Parkview Field to the jar. She needs more. So today, she put 2 pair of shoes (really cute and barely worn) on e-bay. Then she put her bicycle helmet on e-bay. She no longer has a bike so why keep a helmet? I was good with all of this as long as she didn't start selling the cats and dog.
HOWEVER, yesterday she comes to me with a list. "I have 8 people already who want to buy a dozen cookies."
Me: "Cookies? Who is selling cookies?"
K: "I am. I'm charging $5 a dozen."
Me: "Really? There are people who want to buy your cookies for $5 a dozen?"
K: "Yes. And I will have more money for my phone."
Me: "Uhhh, how are you going to get the cookies to them?"
K: "I don't know. I haven't figured that out yet."
Me: "Are they all the same kind?"
K: "No. They want all different kinds."
Me: "You realize you will have to buy the ingredients to make them and that comes out of your $5, right?"
K: "Well, I guess so. Or I could use your flour and stuff."
Me: "No. That won't work. Also, where exactly did you advertise these cookies?"
K: " I posted it on FB. I said I was selling cookies for $5 a dozen and I have 8 customers already."
Me: "Do you know the board of health is going to hunt you down. You cannot sell food from an unapproved kitchen."
K: "Well, I just thought I would start my own business and make some money."

You know, some days this 'special needs' girl is just too smart for her own good.
*Never fear, she will have that $249.14 by the end of August, come hell or high water. Determination is her middle name. Of course, there might not be any furniture left in our house....

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Remember the "Occasionally" Part

Before you read this blog post, please take a second to re-read the title of this website. It is "Getting It Right-Occasionally" That refers to me getting it right, occasionally...not Kalisha.
I'm going to tell you about an incident yesterday and it definitely wasn't one of the times I got it right.
Kalisha has overcome many obstacles and grown in many, many areas. She has one habit that is still particularly annoying to me. I realize it should not bother me any longer, but it does. Immensely.
She tends to have a knee-jerk reaction to some things and before doing any processing, she immediately reacts by calling everyone she can reach to get either their sympathy or their opinion. Or she just needs to talk through it. There are several people who handle this very well and some...not so well. I hate it when someone says to me, "Well, it sounds like you and Kalisha had a disagreement again" or something similar.
Even though they mean well, it makes my skin crawl. Yes, we probably did but if you don't know the whole story, just forget it.
We have discussed this and her BC and I have both cautioned her against immediately calling someone for advice. Process a bit first, Kalisha, and then if you still feel the need to talk to someone, go ahead.
Okay, here's what happened:
I returned on Thursday from 5 days in FL. She stayed home alone, knowing her sister and family live a block away and she could call Carrie, her BC, any time, day or night. She did an excellent job in those 5 days. She washed dishes, took care of the pets, emptied wastebaskets, made her own meals...the whole enchilada. AND, she only texted me to say 'good morning' and to say 'good night.'

She was unbelievably happy to see me when I walked in the front door. You would have thought I had been gone for a month. I was happy to see her, also.
The next day, we were having a normal conversation about many things, when I casually mentioned the fact that I had seen (not purchased) some good prices on tickets to fly back to FL in August.
She looked at me and said, "You might go back????"
I told her that yes I probably would, at some point. I thought that was the end of it. Five minutes later, I hear her on the phone, telling someone about how I might fly back to FL and she didn't want to stay alone again...and on and on.
Mistake #1: Yes, I should have given her some time before I mentioned leaving again.
Mistake #2: I should have asked who she was talking to.
Mistake #3: Knee-jerk reaction (she obviously gets this trait honestly)
Mistake #4: I told her I was done sharing anything with her and I was not going to be her friend anymore. I would always be her mother, but not her friend.
Mistake #5: I didn't discuss my anger with her at all; instead we went to do some errands.
I took her to our local bank branch, where everyone knows her. She went inside to deposit some money to her account while I stayed in the car. Our favorite teller came out to the car and told me Kalisha was at her window, crying. She had tried to console her but couldn't make her feel any better.
I immediately went inside to receive my "Mother of the Year" award. Geez.

*Remember, I only get it right-OCCASIONALLY.

I talked to her and hugged her, assuring her I would always be her friend, as everyone in line watched and either smiled or wished we would hurry up. I didn't care.
We discussed this for the rest of the day. I apologized and asked for her forgiveness, which she, of course, granted.
Knowing how much she values our 'friendship' and always says we are best friends, that was probably the most hurtful thing I could ever say to her. I could have told her it was definitely time to move out or anything, except saying we weren't friends any longer.
Am I contrite and beating myself up because I chose to say that? Yes. Will I hurt her again some time? I'm sure I will...I'm not dead yet, so yes, probably.
Mistakes are a part of life and we all hurt people; sometimes unintentionally and sometimes, intentionally. The saying about sticks and stones, is NOT true. Words hurt more than bruises.
Kalisha and I are best friends..we always have been and always will be. Even when either of us says stupid things.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Volunteering To Do What???

As most of you know, Kalisha likes to volunteer for various things. You probably know she is also a 'knee-jerk reaction' kind of gal.
Read about it, call for information, volunteer, and THEN, tell Mom.

Several weeks ago, she asked me if I would take her to a specific place so she could pick up her shirt, work gloves and garbage bag.  As usual, my response was something intelligent, like, "What???"
"Yeah, I'm going to do the Great American Clean-Up on Saturday and I have to pick up my stuff."
Now we are talking about the girl who isn't real fond of work of any kind and I'm pretty sure picking up litter along city streets would be on the bottom of the list if there even was a list of favorite 'work.'
Being the perceptive person I am (and having lived with Kalisha for 32+ years) I knew immediately what this was about...the T-shirt. Yes, she wanted the T-shirt. It is always a pretty cool shirt. The design includes the city of Fort Wayne in some way and this year the color was neon yellow. I told her she could direct traffic wearing that shirt, in case she ever needed to.
She did go with a group and all was well. I don't know how much trash she actually accumulated in her big black bag, but by George, she has the shirt. Mission accomplished.

Next Scenario: Kalisha tells me, "I contacted the people that run the Colts' training camp and asked them to send the information about volunteering."
Of course she did. We have attended the training camp two separate summers in the past. She has many player autographs, including Andrew Luck's. She has asked volunteers when we are there how they got to volunteer. This year she wasn't waiting around. She was on it.

They emailed the application and we filled it out together. There were many questions about what days, what hours, what groups of people she preferred working with and what jobs she would like to do.
We chose 3 days in a row, the early afternoon session and then came the list of possible duties. She was deciding what she would like the best when she read, drive a golf cart.
Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "Yes, Mom, that's what I want to do. Can I?"
It was difficult to answer while laughing. "Kalisha, you've been there. You've seen them. The drivers of the golf carts have to wind around all the people walking. You would mow someone down and then they would need a golf cart."
A few summers ago, her sister,  Kaylynn, being a brave soul, allowed Kalisha to drive the golf cart they own at their lake property. Kalisha drove from the lakefront up a hill to the cottage. Kaylynn was in the front seat with her and I was in the back..thank God.
Kalisha eventually made it to the top of the hill and then home but not without lots of swerving and jerking. I had visions of that when she wanted to volunteer for it at training camp.
I did manage to dissuade her from checking that box. Whew. She called Michael Limmer at Parkview Field and asked permission to use his phone number as a reference for handing out brochures since that is what she does at her job at Parkview Field. He graciously gave his consent. When we had it all filled in and scanned and sent back, she immediately called the person listed on the form and asked if it had been received. The lady was very nice and it sounded as though she has the position sewed up.
So...it seems we will be heading to Anderson in August. Kalisha is anxiously waiting for her assignment to be emailed to her.
This should be worth several more posts by that time. Yikes.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Adding a Little

I forgot to add a few things to yesterday's post so you are getting 2 in a row.

Several weeks ago, Kalisha was in line to pay at Walgreen's. She noticed the lady in front of her was paying with a card that had Disney Dalmations  on it. She immediately asked her a gazillion questions about it. The lady told her it was free and she could ask at her bank.
The next day, we were at our bank to do something. Kalisha went in before me and by the time I got inside, she was already in a little cubicle with a banker. I heard him say, "We will have to destroy your present card but you should receive your new one in the mail in a few days."
 
Number 2: She has a plastic cup from Parkview Field that she originally bought, filled with pop. She has not been drinking pop for several weeks but uses it at home for water. I heard her talking to someone on the phone about this cup and how the red design was wearing off. She wanted a new one. She was told she would have to buy it filled with pop. That's understandable...maybe when there is a game, right? Oh no. She wanted it now and of course, they told her if she came in, they would fill one for her and they did. The crazy thing??? There is NOTHING going on at Parkview Field today, so some sweet soul had to go to one of the concession stands and get her a pop.
 
I really don't know why we are voting for any of the candidates presented today. We should vote for Kalisha...she can persuade anyone to do almost anything.
 

Monday, May 2, 2016

Right Now...Famous Words




Kalisha has inherited my "let's git 'er done" philosophy on life in general (although I was separated for 4 years before finally getting a divorce...go figure).
This does not always work in her favor, although sometimes, it does. I could ramble on here for many paragraphs but I will just list some of her latest impatient actions.

She wanted to have an answer to a 'phone' question. I told her I would take her to Verizon the next day. Not soon enough for her. She got on the city bus and went to Verizon. That isn't a bad thing except I didn't know she went and because of the location of the Verizon store, she had to walk across almost the entire parking lot at Glenbrook Mall. (Have you seen the way people drive in that parking lot?) Yowsers.

She filled out her Parkview Field availability work sheet for May and immediately sent it back. No discussing the dates or my availability to pick her up.

She asked if she should sell her Hello Kitty shoes since they were barely worn and she didn't want them any longer. I told her it was okay. I thought she meant e-bay or Craigslist. The next time I was online, there were her shoes. She found an app called 'Let It Go' and promptly listed them.

I opened my FB page and saw a video of Kalisha talking to the people who were commenting to her. Then I saw my dining room flash before my eyes. What the hell? That is sort of what I asked. She said "Oh that's an app I found called FaceBook Time." Really? It would be nice if she would warn me. Occasionally, I make a mad dash from my bedroom upstairs to the dryer in the basement, wearing only the essentials. And we all know, once in a while I say a few words I shouldn't.

She wanted to participate in 'Clean-Up Day' in Ft. Wayne last year but was too late in volunteering. That wasn't going to happen this year, evidently. She already signed up. I didn't even know when it was scheduled.

She is constantly telling me things after the fact. I know you are all thinking that she will be living on her own soon and she needs to make decisions by herself. While that's true, she might want to think about it for just a minute before volunteering or proceeding.

She informed me that the COLTS were looking for volunteers to work at their training camp in August at Anderson College. (We have gone to that for a day a few times) I guess we will be going again because she off-handedly informed me the other night that she was volunteering this summer. I said, "Don't you have to contact someone to find out all the details?"
"Oh, I already did. They are sending me the paperwork to fill out."

Of course they are.

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