Monday, June 17, 2013

Play It Again, Sam....Uh, Kalisha

Kalisha checked her phone status with Verizon a few days ago on the internet. She found that she was due for an 'upgrade' on July 1st. Woe is me.
If you are a follower or regular reader of this blog, you know Kalisha is a phone junkie. She loves her phone, takes good care of it and uses it more than her computer. It goes everywhere with her.
I used to get upset with her when she always wanted the next great phone, but I have backed off. She never buys jewelry, seldom buys makeup, and the only new clothes she wants are either Colts in the fall and winter or Tincaps (local minor league baseball team) in the spring and summer. Her phone is her 'hot button.'
She wanted to get on the bus and go to Verizon the next day. Not.
The best way to describe her tenacity and unbelievable negotiating abilities is to write this in conversation form. It gets complicated...follow closely LOL

"Kalisha, you can't buy it until your upgrade date. Before that date, it will cost you full price which is about $600. Do you have $600 dollars?"
"No, but I think I can get it early."
"The only way you can get it anytime is if you find a buyer for your 4S phone."
"Hey, Mom, I called Verizon and they will give me $140 for my 4S."
"Okay. Then your new phone would only be $60. You can probably do that."
"Mom, I found a lady on Craigslist who wants to buy an I-phone 4S and she will pay $180 for it."
"Great. Did you tell her she can't have it until the 1st of July?"
"No. But I will."
"Hey, Mom, I found an I-phone 5 on Craigslist and he only wants $150.00 for it. He says it is new and still in the package."
"If it is still in the package, it is probably hot."
"What does that mean? It's stolen?"
"I called Verizon and they will give me $200 for the I-phone 5, so if I get on the bus, meet the lady and sell her mine for $140, then add $10 to it and buy the 5 from the guy for $150 and then sell that to Verizon for $200, my new phone will be free, won't it?"
(This is the kid who can't count money and can't get the right change for things)

"Oh my gosh, Kalisha. I don't know if it will be free or not. You lost me somewhere along the line. Regardless, you still can't upgrade until July 1st and you told me the Iphone 5 he has for sale is on a Sprint network. I don't know if they can switch it to Verizon."

"I'll call and find out."

"I'm sure you will."

"No, they can't switch networks but they will still give me $200 for it, so can I go buy his phone?"

"No. Where are you going to get the $150 for his phone?"

"I don't know, but he's waiting for me to let him know. He texted me and said, 'Where are you going to meet me, Sweetie?'"
"Oh hell, no, you're not going to meet him. You couldn't before but now you know why, right?"
"I found another one on Craigslist and he will sell it for $140.00. That's cheaper, right? And then I can still sell it to Verizon."
"What happened to the woman who wanted to buy yours?"
"She didn't want to wait until July 1st."
"Maybe she is related to you, Kalisha."
Finally, I said, "Here's the deal.Stop trying to buy and sell today. Just wait and you can sell your phone to Verizon for $140 and your new one will cost you $60."

Have we come full circle in this conversation yet? gets better.

"Okay. I am getting on the bus, going to Verizon and maybe they will sell it to me. Can you loan me the $60 until the 3rd of July, just in case?"

Yesterday, I couldn't have, but today I received a writing check in the mail, so I loaned her $60 cash.
"Good idea. Go." I knew they were not going to sell it early.

My phone rings. "Mom what is the password on the account?"
"Why do you need it?"
"Just so they can look up my date and everything."
I gave it to her, knowing she did not have her debit card with her. Otherwise she might have paid the full $600 for it.

My phone rings again. "Hi Kalisha. Did they sell you the phone early?"
"No. They said they couldn't. But when I left the store, I called customer service and told them how much I wanted that phone and the lady said since I am a loyal Verizon customer, she would do it. My phone will be delivered on Wednesday and then I can take my 4S in and sell it to them. Isn't that cool?"

She came in the door, smiling from ear to ear and handed me a slip of paper. "Oh yeah, since they are going to put the price of the phone on the bill, I stopped at the bank and put your $60 back into your checking account because I knew you would need it."

"Do you know the number of my checking account???" I asked because my bank will not let you deposit anything to someone else's account unless you know the number.

"No, but they let me do it anyway."

There must be a job for this kid somwhere. In negotiations or something.

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