Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Consequences Are Such A Pain

Photo of Kalisha's iPhone on "Getting It Right - Occasionally"
Kalisha's iPhone
At the suggestion of Kalisha's Behavioral Consultant, she has a 'contract' for certain behaviors. If the terms aren't met, she loses all access to her phone for 24 hours. Kalisha loves her phone and has it with her at all times, so it is a little like cutting off her arm.

One of the things she must do is get up and be ready on her volunteer days; actually she has to do this for any 'commitment' she has made. She volunteers at the Share House on Tuesdays, the food bank on Wednesdays, and goes to a cooking class on Fridays.

She hates to get up in the morning. It has become more and more of a struggle with each passing week. She has every excuse under the sun....It's too cold, I don't want to learn how to cook, I already know how to buy groceries, I don't want to push grocery carts out, I'm s-o-o-o-o tired. I encourage her to go to sleep earlier at night. She needs some white noise when she sleeps. I understand that, so she is allowed to have a radio or CD playing, but she always has her TV on and then never falls asleep.

I, quite frankly, am getting pretty sick of the whole thing. I can't just let her sit at home 7 days a week and sleep most of the time; therefore, she needs to go to these volunteer jobs. Once she gets there, she enjoys her work and the people all like her. There are supports in place; people don't yell at her, she is accepted, she is given tasks she can handle, etc.

I think the time frame for losing the phone may have to be increased to 48 hours because she seems to have become immune to the loss for just a day. I will probably have to take the laptop out of her room too, so she can't get on FB from there either. What a pain it all is. Yes, I am being selfish. It is a pain because it is more work for me to take it all away. I just want to tell her, "Just get up and go. You can sleep later when you get home." Actually, I do tell her that, but when she is in Kalisha Mode, there is no reasoning with her.

Another reason she is so tired is because she never reaches a 'deep sleep' due to sleep apnea. If you want to read about our experience with the apnea testing, go back to a post from a year or so ago.

I think I need to take a nap, so I can stop thinking about this for a while.

On the good side of things, I have (accidentally, but by God's design) found someone who is very good at blog and web design. She has re-designed this entire blog site, but to get it all done, she needs to close the site down on Thursday for a few days. I am so excited!!


  1. You are pretty amazing stand your ground

    1. Amy, I'm not so amazing, but thank you for the compliment. At least with Kalisha, I always know the anger will pass and she will feel bad and tell me she is sorry and always asks for forgiveness. She is such a "think in this moment" kind of girl; it comes with autism. Never look at the future consequences. She knows she wouldn't last a day at her dad's, but right at that moment, that was her solution. Thanks for the comment. Come back and visit again.



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