Who Is She?

Kalisha Watching A Colts Game

My daughter, Kalisha, is a lot of different people rolled into one. Not in a 'split personality' kind of way, but in an age kind of way. I never know exactly what age she is from day to day. She can be a little girl that needs comforting, an adolescent that refuses to see things from another point of view, an obstinate teenager, a concerned and caring adult, or all of these depending on the situation.

She will agree with anything I ask her to do. "Kalisha, take that laundry basket to your room when you go upstairs."

"Okay, I will."

Then she doesn't do it. I have 4 other children, so it's not like this is something new, but her not doing it is different. She isn't defiant, she just doesn't think about the request, if that makes any sense. She agrees because she doesn't want to upset me, I guess (believe me when I say it takes more than a laundry basket to upset me). The problem is that she will agree with just about anything I say or suggest. Here is an absurd example:

"Kalisha, I really don't like the colors of the leaves in the fall. I like it better when they are green."
"Yeah, me too."
"But, the reds and oranges and yellows really are pretty, I guess."
"Yes, they are."
I tell her I don't want her to agree with everything I say. "You have a right to your own opinions; you don't have to think exactly like I do."
"No, I don't."
Then she smiles at that answer, because she knows she just did it again.

Sometimes we practice. I will make a statement and ask her to think about how she really feels before she answers. If she really does agree, it is okay to say so, but if she doesn't agree, that is okay, too. This is a hard lesson for her to grasp for several reasons. She wants to please me and others; she is a very concrete thinker, and many times she doesn't know how she feels about something, so agreeing is the easiest route.

This can and has gotten her into many unhealthy situations....so we continue to practice. I will post the story of her being with someone while they were stealing something from a store.....next time!