Friday, February 13, 2015

Is It Really Valentine's Day Again?

Kalisha has an obsession with Valentine's Day. She has for many years. She buys into all the advertising and all the love movies on Hallmark and wants that kind of "love" and attention and gifts. She believes that is how it is supposed to be and trying to convince her otherwise doesn't work so well.
First, she needs to find a boyfriend; so about Feb. 1st she starts looking. (You didn't know it was that easy, did you?) If some young (or not so young, sometimes) man talks to her on FB, she is immediately in "girlfriend/boyfriend" mode. Then I start with all the advice, talking, convincing, trying to get a perspective on this.
I do not want her to get hurt or be in danger, but don't want to kill something that might actually be okay, either.
She was telling me about this gentleman when I told her she really needed to know him better before she could call him a boyfriend. She asked how to get to know him better. I suggested asking questions (what was I thinking?????) Kalisha is the Question Queen, so she was on that idea right now.
I turned the corner up so you could see she has questions on both sides of 2 legal pad pages; plus she wrote down every answer he gave. She will know more about him than his mother does. Just kidding.
She was then suggesting to him what she wanted him to get her for Valentine's day. I must have missed a chapter in her development somewhere. She is not a greedy person, but when the big HEART day rolls around, she has definite ideas what should be given.
Yesterday, this person came over for a short time, bringing 2 roses, a cute teddy bear and a small box of chocolates.
Just to review: One year, a guy she liked got her a pretty big box of chocolates and the dog we had at that time, ate the whole danged box full; every piece. Did he die? Heck, no. He didn't even get sick. Then one year, a fellow bought her a card. Well, you know, she was not happy about that at all.
This year seemed perfect. 2 roses, small box of chocolates (perfect since she is working hard at losing weight), and the cutest little bear, ever.
She was pleased but wanted a DOZEN roses, and a bigger bear. I know...she sounds awful, doesn't she?
We had a very rational discussion (at least she was rational) about greediness and not being content and being thankful. She isn't this way about any other celebrations. Last year, on her huge birthday party, she asked people to NOT bring her any gifts.
Finally, she called her sister and asked what her girls, Kalisha's nieces, would be getting. Kaylynn assured her they wouldn't get much from their boyfriends and she should be happy with what she got. I guarantee Kalisha didn't get this warped idea of Valentine's gifts from her parents...........
So, where do we stand? She decided she was happy with what she received, tonight she is attending a Valentine's Dance at Bethesda and all is right with her world; (except the guy she is liking is a Steelers fan.....oh, boy)

I have been analyzing the entire situation and this is what I think. Through movies, books and the incessant TV ads, she has a vision of what she believes "normal" people do on Valentine's Day and she wants to be part of that picture.
Just another bump in the road; one more day and it will be over. Thank you, Lord.


  1. I'm glad she found a boyfriend, at least for Valentine's Day! It really is a sort of cruel holiday, since it makes a big deal out of people in relationships showing each other love, while single people wallow in their loneliness. I like to think of it more as a day about lshowing love to EVERYONE... your family members, your friends, your pets, etc.

    1. I agree with you. I have been divorced for many years and don't have a "Valentine" either. The day really doesn't bother me anymore, but I am happy it is over for Kalisha.



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