Sunday, August 5, 2012

I Don't Want Her Here

As you may know, in earlier posts, I have mentioned the conflicts between Kalisha and her 17-year-old niece, who, due to a long list of circumstances, was living with us. This niece is not the easiest person to get along with and Kalisha seemed to be able to push every button. Kalisha did not have to give up her room or make any huge changes, just inconvenienced to have to make allowances for someone else's schedule. They sort of reached a stalemate and pretty much avoided each other.

In May, Darcy (not her real name) announced she was moving out. She and a friend were going to rent an apartment with the friend's cousin. (I am her grandmother and try to influence her in her decisions, but ultimately, I am not her parent or guardian and cannot make decisions for her or forbid her to do something. Frustrating and infuriating, but true.)

Needless to say, Kalisha was doing a 'happy dance' at the news that Darcy was not going to live here any longer. She still cared about her and her soft heart showed itself several times. One time, when she learned that Darcy never made it to a festival in our town and didn't get an elephant ear, Kalisha begged me to take her downtown so she could buy Darcy an elephant ear. Kalisha loves her, she just doesn't want her to live here.

Everything was going along well until a week ago. Darcy called, in tears, and asked to come back just for a week. She does have parents but absolutely cannot live at either one of their homes. I wouldn't want her to anyway. If she were older, I would practice that good old tough love and say that I do not have a revolving door on my house. As it was, I told her she could come back for a while.

Kalisha is not happy! I did ask her opinion first, but ultimately had to overrule her. It has been two weeks now and Darcy is still here.

You are aware of Kalisha's lack of tact and her need to know answers. The minute Darcy walked in the door, Kalisha asked, "How long are you staying?" (Great welcome, huh?)

About twice a week, she asks, "So, do you know when you are moving out again?" This, of course makes Darcy angry and we are off and running. I think I am going to find a cousin to move in with and let everyone fight it out! Just kidding. We will make it through this, too.

When my youngest child got a driver's license, I thought I was done grabbing the dashboard, but God had other plans. I have a grandson and granddaughter who have driving permits and always want to drive everywhere we go. And you wonder why I have gray hair!


Okay, I feel better now. Isn't it great that you can 'yell' while typing and never have to open your mouth?

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