Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dialogue With Frustrated Kalisha

When Kalisha gets "stuck" on a problem or a situation, it is almost impossible to re-direct her thoughts. In the last 2 days, nearly every waking moment has been consumed with her problem. I will attempt to relay our dialogue.
For several years, Kalisha has purchased a bus pass (our city's public transportation system) that is good for one month of unlimited riding. She has this amount figured into her budget every month and it really was a good deal when she was riding almost every day. Now, however, she only rides on Saturdays,  for various reasons which will be explained in another post.
K: "Guess what, Mom."
G: "What, Honey?"
K: "I lost my bus pass."
G: "The one you just bought?"
K: "Yes! It's gone. I have to buy another one."
G: "Did you look for it?"
K: "No. I always keep it in the pocket on my purse. It had to fall out when I took my phone out."
G: "Well, you have to look for it before you can spend another $22.00."
K: " I know it's gone. It was in my purse."
G:"Look upstairs in your room, look on the desk. I think I saw one in the hallway upstairs."
K: "That was an old one."
G: Listen, Kalisha, I was thinking; you know that you only ride on Saturdays now, so it would be cheaper to
      buy a 'day pass' every Saturday."
K: " I have to have the month pass."
G: " Why? You could save $10.00 if you get the day one."
K: "I don't care. I need the month one."
G: "When did you have it last?"
K: "When I was with Ashley."
G: "Did you call Ashley and ask her to look in her car?"
K: "It won't be there. I know it's gone."
G: "Okay. You know how you want to go to the Kenny Chesney concert this Friday and you were showing
      me the last American Girl doll you wanted and you really want a Wii?"
K: "Yeah."
G: "Well, you need to save some money, so maybe you should think about saving the $10.00."
K: "I just won't go to the concert, and I can buy the doll some other time and I'll just wait for the Wii."

She immediately dialed her friend who was going to go to the concert with her and said, "I can't go to the
     concert. I have to have money for a bus pass."
Then she called her Behavioral Consultant and told her the whole story.

K: "I checked my bank account and I have money in my savings. I can go to the concert and get a bus 
G: "Yes, you do. But since you won't even consider the day pass, I'm not going to let you spend the money
     in your savings." (After nearly three hours of this, I begin to lose perspective and start to dig my heels in.)
K: "But it's my money and I need the month pass. What if I want to ride during the week?"
G: "Kalisha! Give it a rest, already!"

She writes a contract, stating that she won't spend any money all month, if she can get the pass.

G: "Okay. That's a deal. No other money spent this month."
One hour later.......
K: "I made a little box and put my change in it. It's my concert box. If I put all my change in there, I will have
      enough by the next concert."
G: "Okay...I thought we had settled this. You wrote a contract, remember?"
K: "Yeah, but I want to change it."
G: "You can't change contracts, remember?"
K: "Yeah, but I want to go to the concert. It's not Friday yet; maybe you'll change your mind, right?"
G: "Well, you're right. It's not Friday yet."

She doesn't speak for a long time. She reads her books. She takes a bath

When she comes downstairs in her pj's she says: "You know, Mom, there is a 10 rides for $10.00 pass. I
 could buy that and that would be saving even more money, right?"
G:"Yes, I guess it would."
K: "I'm sorry for not listening. Do you forgive me?"
G: Of course I do, Kalisha."

I really didn't write the all day conversation because it would be pages and pages, but you get the idea. And it's not Friday yet, right?

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