Wednesday, October 29, 2014

There, But for the Grace of God......

We have probably all uttered that phrase at some time in our lives; "There, but for the grace of God, go I." We say it when we see something happening to someone we know or identify with. And, we usually say it with a note of thankfulness in our voices.

Occasionally, other people's circumstances can serve as a much-needed wake-up call to us. If it doesn't change our actions, it will at least, change our thinking as we ponder what happened to someone else.

Kalisha has a friend, Laura, (not her real name). Laura is several years older than Kalisha and has some disabilities, also. They aren't the same as Kalisha's but in many ways, these two young women are similar. Laura lives with her mother, as Kalisha and I live together.

Laura's mother and I are considerably different in age and in abilities; nonetheless, we both function as a family unit with our daughters. Laura's mother rarely left home and had very little input into the running of the household. (Okay, we know we are worlds apart there, right?)

Laura is as crazy about country music artists and concerts as Kalisha is about the Indianapolis Colts, games and players. She had a huge collection of memorabilia from those concerts.

I could tell you some hilarious stories about some of their adventures, but that isn't what this post is about.
Several weeks ago, Laura's mom had a seizure and fell while home alone. She was in the hospital for weeks and ultimately, moved to a nursing home. She is not coming home.
Laura has struggled with decisions and what to do about a lot of things. She has no relatives near, but is getting some advice from a cousin in a southern state. She can't stay in the house, so she has applied for an apartment and will be moving there in a few months. She had 2 dogs, but had to find a home for one of them because she could have only one at the apartment.
She decided to sell everything at the house; appliances, furniture and a basement full of decorations. The house will be sold also. She needed to become her mother's POA, which is not a particularly prudent thing, since Laura probably needs a POA herself.
Yesterday, she gave Kalisha all (and I do mean, ALL) of her country music memorabilia and treasures. Kalisha and I sorted it and advised her to keep some of those things, for memories. Nope. She doesn't want it.
Laura will be fine. She and her mother should have (in my humble opinion) moved to an apartment a long time ago. The thing that has bothered me the most about the whole scenario is this: this could be me and Kalisha in the future. What will she do when I am suddenly not available for advice or company? The one huge difference is Kalisha has 4 siblings to advise her and help her make the best decisions. of those will be : "Okay, what home do we put Mom in?"
I'm laughing, but not really. This has brought me face to face with wondering if I have prepared Kalisha for being alone? Will she know what to do with our belongings? Will she be able to sort and pitch? If you are my friend on FB, you know I have been 'uncluttering' for over a year. This is precisely why.
None of us can predict the future and I trust the Lord with our lives, now and in the future, but seeing it first hand, does make you have some sobering thoughts.

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