Monday, July 7, 2014

Full-Blown Meltdown

Kalisha has not had a 'meltdown' for a very long time. With the help of weekly visits with her BC (behavioral consultant) she has matured so very much. She is in control of her actions and her feelings and seldom, if ever, loses that control. She goes to work every day she is scheduled with no complaining, she gets up and cheerfully does her volunteer work each week.
What happened?
Usually, when Kalisha becomes totally unglued, it has some connection to an event or plan which did not go as planned. That doesn't mean she is not handling changes well, because she is and I am very proud of her. However, last week was not typical and way off the charts.
Her 13-year-old niece, Anna, (my granddaughter) came to spend a few days at our house. The first day they watched movies and laughed a lot. The second day, Kalisha invited Anna to go along on the city bus to meet her friend, Jenny, for an excursion to Wal-Mart. The plans got changed when Jenny missed the bus and Anna and Kalisha had to wait an hour for her. I was so very proud of Kalisha for handling that situation very calmly. All was well and they returned home with the 'rubber bands' needed to make bracelets and necklaces. Anna was going to teach Kalisha how to do it.

The next day, Anna made plans to spend some time with a neighbor girl who is 13 also. I had to work away from home for a few hours, never expecting the 'tempest in a teapot' that was going to take place.
Apparently, Kalisha insisted on accompanying the girls which they adamantly refused to allow. She became angry; screaming that she had let Anna come with her the day before and hang out with her friend, so she should be allowed to be with them.
She ran (I said, RAN) after them when they went to the park. The dog got out of the house but by this time, Kalisha was in such a frenzy, she didn't care. She didn't even try to coax him back; her sole effort was to be with them. She stood in the alley and screamed, really screamed, horrible things about Anna. She told the neighbor lady to go ahead and call the police. She didn't care.
Finally, she laid down on the sidewalk and yelled. The ants thought her leg would make a great meal. (Natural consequences are the pits)
By the time I arrived home, she had calmed down and was asking for Anna's forgiveness and telling me all that had transpired. I was dumb-founded. I had not seen Kalisha out of control for a long, long time. If I had been home, I could have headed it off (the meltdown) but I wasn't and it grew out of control.
She called her BC and discussed it over the weekend. Today when they had their hour-long chat, they devised a plan in case there would ever be a time when it would start to happen again.
I don't want you to think this would ever happen if you took Kalisha somewhere with you. She would be able to hold it all together if she was upset. Her BC explained to me the thought of the unfairness of the situation and because it was a relative who was supposed (in Kalisha's mind) to be spending time with her, culminated in the breakdown.
  I wasn't seeing too much positiveness here; I was just furious with her. Sometimes her BC teaches me as much as she teaches Kalisha. This is the 'plan of action' Kalisha and her BC formulated today. I think these would be good things for all of us when we are ready to have our own meltdown. What do you think? Leave a comment and let me know.


  1. Okay, we are moving forward with the comment issue.

  2. Oh my. This hit home with me. My daughter, Beth Ann had a huge meltdown last week. We are working on methods to handle future meltdowns. I am happy to report that yesterday I was able to head a meltdown off. Thanks for your posts.

  3. I think maybe I need a BC sometimes too. Seriously, that is a very good plan. I wish all BCs were as creative and caring as the one she has. Kudos to Kalisha for being open to new ideas.



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