For those of you who know Kalisha well, you will relate and 'hear' this conversation. For those of you who don't know her, this is a glimpse into our world when she is in "Kalisha Mode."
I need to preface this with the fact that Kalisha and I have really good conversations most of the time. She is knowledgeable about many subjects and unlike many individuals with autism, she is very verbal. We discuss the news, weather, budgets, likes and dislikes, friends, etc.
However, when that internal switch 'flips' and she is in her world of emotion, all reasoning goes out the window. She will say almost anything to bait me. Occasionally, I definitely rise to the occasion, but I practice NOT doing that.
This is our conversation from 2 days ago, verbatim.
"Mom, I have a new boyfriend."
"Yeah? Who is he?"
"His name is Louis."
"And how do you know him?"
"I see him on the bus all the time."
"Okay. How old is he?"
"I don't know. 39, I think."
"That is too old for you."
"He wants a girlfriend and I want a boyfriend, so we are meeting tomorrow."
"Where are you meeting?"
"Downtown at the library."
"I don't think so. He is too old and you don't know anything about him."
"I know his name and he said he likes me."
"Not enough information. Does he have a job?"
"Yes, he works at _____________."
"You need to get to know him as a friend first."
"I'm going to buy a TinCaps (our local minor league bb team) sweatshirt."
"No you are not. You just spent your 'spending money' for the month on 4 dvds from e-bay and the Vera Bradley things and you bought a TinCaps headband and hairbow."
"Yes, but I sold the first Vera Bradley purse and I can use that money to buy the sweatshirt."
"No, Kalisha. That money will have to go into your checking account to pay for the new Vera Bradley design you ordered."
"But I want the sweatshirt."
"I know you do, but you have spent over $100 on your personal things this month and it is only the 6th of May."
"Do you want to see a picture of Louis?"
"We are friends on FB and here's his picture."
"He is definitely too old, ok?"
"Do you want to talk to Jenny about him? She knows him."
"Sure. How does Jenny know him?"
"She said she knows him for a long time because he used to live by her."
"So can I buy the sweatshirt if I take the headband and the hairbow back?"
"You will have to add the amounts and see what the difference is."
" I can send the purse back, but it already shipped."
"And since you sold the other one, what will you use?"
"Jenny said he likes to drink and he is divorced, too."
"Hey, he is just getting better and better."
"He said he likes to 'cuddle' but I don't want to and he can't do that at the library. So I will still meet him there, ok?"
"No. No meeting him and no going to the TinCaps store until you figure this all out."
"So should I delete him from my 'friends' list?"
"I think that would be a good idea."
"He has some really gross pictures on his page, too."
"So why do you want to meet him at the library?"
"I changed my mind. I don't want to meet him. But I want the sweatshirt, ok?"
By now you may be saying that I should be thankful she is so verbal and she is not kicking and screaming and thrashing around on the floor, swearing........oh wait, that is ME doing those things.