Kalisha and I have been on a very 'even keel' for quite a while. No refusals to get up and go to her volunteer 'jobs.' No complaining about the elements as she tries to figure out a way to stay home.
She has been cheerful and very cooperative. If I make the meal, she cleans up after. Don't get too excited...she doesn't do the dishes, etc. but she puts all refrigeratable items back in the refrigerator, stacks the dishes, pushes the chairs back up to the table and throws paper napkins away or puts cloth ones in the laundry.
She has even brought all hanging clothes upstairs from the basement and hung them in our closets.
However, the biggest changes aren't in her physically doing things, but in the acceptance of things she doesn't like and in conversations, etc.
A few weeks ago, she was excited to know it was time for the Vera Bradley Outlet Sale. She goes online to choose the pattern she wants and the style, etc. This year, the pattern she chose was not available when we arrived. Although disappointed, she found another pattern. www.moms.fortwayne.com (read more at the blog section: Not Different Enough)
She knew she was on a budget and could only spend X amount, so she had to find something in that price range. She found a bag and a matching wallet. I didn't hear any complaining about the fact she wanted 3 more matching things, as in past years. Not a word. Woo-hoo!
Today it was raining, a very cold rain. At the food bank where she volunteers, she has to push the carts with the clients' food in them, out to their car. Not ideal for someone who does not like the cold or wet. No complaints; she showered and went. Part of that is because it is a commitment and if she doesn't keep commitments, she loses phone and computer. However, in the past, she would have gone but complained the entire time and pleaded with me to not make her go. PROGRESS.
I have always seen 'jumps' in her maturity levels. Her chronological age had nothing to do with her maturity age. She was a pre-teen, then a teen, then late teens and now I believe she has jumped to maybe 'young adult' in most areas.
So there, Mr. Doctor Pediatrician, who told me at 18 months to put Kalisha in an institution because she would never progress beyond where she was at that time.
I don't live in a fairyland. I totally realize that my next post may be about how Kalisha is acting out and driving me crazy, but she has been in this stage for quite some time now. We have moved from a totally mother/daughter relationship to a really good friend relationship with lots of mom/daughter thrown in for good measure.